Dead Ringers

George Bush makes a solemn promise to the American people. An all-star cast, including Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise and Judi Dench, assemble for Trumpton: the Movie. The Fourth Doctor travels by Eurostar.

Jeremy Clarkson finds support for his belief that cars aren't bad for the environment. While Peter Mandelson embarks on a new career, David Blunkett announces police reforms. Plus a trailer for the new Bridget Jones movie.

Kirstie and Phil introduce their new show, Repossession, Repossession, Repossession. Steve Irwin advises customers in a greengrocer's how to handle dangerous vegetables. Plus an insight into what happens during the commercial break in Countdown.

The Osbournes host an edition of Crimewatch that focuses on a theft at their home. A Sontaran bemoans typecasting as he discusses his career after finding fame on Doctor Who. Ellen MacArthur tries to interest customers in a new perfume.

David Blunkett's guide dog, Sadie, speaks out. Michael Parkinson interviews people waiting to catch a bus. Ozzy Osbourne digs into his family background on Who Do You Think You Are?

Kate Winslet, Martin Shaw, Judi Dench and Alan Rickman sprinkle their stardust on Jane Eyre. Captain Jack Sparrow embarks on a London City cruise in the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean. Lesley Garrett and Charlotte Church star in The Sopranos.